


Let Espella Say It

by TheMockingJ3



Category: Layton Kyouju Series | Professor Layton Series, Layton Kyouju vs Gyakuten Saiban | Professor Layton vs. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, 逆転裁判 | Gyakuten Saiban | Ace Attorney
Genre: Gen, I wouldn’t call this crack but it might as well be, Labyrinthia, Maya Fey has the mouth of a sailer, PLvsAA spoilers, Swearing, slight references to sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:54:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24874177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMockingJ3/pseuds/TheMockingJ3
Summary: Lalochezia – The use of abusive language to relieve stress or ease pain.
Relationships: Zacharias Barnham & Espella Cantabella
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	Let Espella Say It

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers: For PLvsAA, with some spoilers for the bonus episodes too  
> Set: After the game  
> Summary: A short tumblr prompt from mitsybubbles

_“Fucking fires of hell!”_

“Mr Barnham, are you all right?” 

Barnham flinched away from the stone oven and turned, horrified to find Espella hovering in the bakery’s doorway. 

“M-Miss Espella!” he seethed, clenching his scorched fist. “Forgive my outburst!” (Of _all_ the times for him to remove his armour…)

“Don’t apologise— you just got burned!” 

Espella reacted as if this was a routinely occurrence. (Perhaps his predecessors at the bakery had been prone to burning themselves?) She pushed Barnham towards the sink and poured cool water over his hand. 

Barnham sighed with relief; it seemed Espella hadn’t detected his swearing. He couldn’t live with himself if he corrupted a pure-hearted maiden such as Espella. Not to mention, Miss Patty would bludgeon him with the rolling pin… 

“Mr Barnham…” Espella said hesitantly. “What does ‘fuck’ mean?”

“Oh, f— _for heavens’ sake,”_ Barnham breathed. He stared at Espella, feeling as if he had just fallen into the court’s fire pit. 

She was eighteen— surely she knew about… procreation. Yes, her past was rife with trauma— she and her father had been distant for years— but Patty must have informed her of such things. As archaic as Labyrinthia’s school was, they still taught _biology._

One couldn’t walk through the marketplace without hearing the local animals mating… 

Barnham swallowed and shook his head. “’Tis… ’Tis an offensive term a true knight should never use. Pray, do not repeat it— especially not in front of Miss Patty or Eve.”

“I’ve heard Eve say it before!” 

_In what context?_ Barnham wanted to inquire. Instead, he muttered, “I’m sure Eve wouldn’t want you to imitate her.” 

“You’re right— she wouldn’t tell me either.” Frowning, Espella curled her fingers under her chin and clutched her elbow. She resembled Sir Dark Hat, except that refined gentleman would not dwell on foul language like this! 

Espella decided, “I’ll just have to write to Maya and ask her what it means!” 

Barnham’s mind flashed back to the boat ride when he had taken Sir Dark Hat and his companions home. Maya Fey had been so excited to see London that she had almost tripped out of the boat. 

_“FUCK— thanks Nick! I’m okay… Shit, Luke didn’t hear that, did he? Cover his ears, Professor…!”_

“No…” Barnham said faintly. 

Espella had already dashed off to grab a pencil and paper. Who knew what obscene words her correspondence would unleash upon Labyrinthia? 

Arthur Cantabella would have Barnham’s head for this, if there was anything left after Patty was through with him. 


End file.
